you know...it wasn't as bad as I thought...
Okay...so I am a sucker for pie...Congratulations you earned my respect...now for critiques...theres this awesome song about pie, live it up, have fun with it, it looked boring looking at the same thing for a long time, I want to see drama, action, humor, I know you have these qualities, so draw them, it was enough to get my atention, but not good enough for a perfect score, or eevn an eight...try o improve, don't just take critiques and throw them away, what you need to do is redo this, and I am expecting it on my desk by after school young man...just kidding about the afterschool thing...but seriously...I have papers to grade...